1. If someone is posting a cryptic status update fishing for attention and responses, they should be required to show up in a different color so that you can quickly skim over these obnoxious posts. Ex: “I received the best news today!” = skip.
2. A single person should have the option to keep all of their friends with babies in a different news stream. Feel like checking out another video of little Charlie chewing on a toy and babbling incoherently? Switch over! Want to enjoy your feed free of these drooling, spitting-up cuties, and get back to the real stuff like a picture of what James had for lunch today, you have that option.
3. If you have just started dating someone, Facebook should offer a summary of that person’s romantic past, pictures, and relationship status changes from the past five years. This will save time and energy used to search through old status updates looking for any signs of crazy, and old albums to decide who is more attractive, you or the ex.
4. Facebook should search for key words such as “Stella & Dot,” “Scentsy, and “Mary Kay” to notify you when your third grade classmate begins their journey of sales rep. This gives you the option of immediately unfriending/gearing up for the onslaught of emails for parties and special offers/ deleting your profile completely. Or starting a new account with a pseudonym, catfished pictures, and a hometown of Beijing, but let’s face it, they’ll probably still find you and let you know that you can get the new owl warmer at 50 percent off.
As awesome as Facebook is, these new features can only make it better.